I excelled at no school sports at all:
butter-fingered that leather ball,
belligerent boots in scrum sprawl.
specs-less, opponents just a blur,
this short sighted sub easy to deter:
coach much baffled, I readily concur.
promising prowess rarely appeared:
a well-passed ball, a bar fully cleared;
self-shocked and sometime-cheered.
half-hearted tackles stalled some fray:
defence position, I missed much play,
shivering in shorts (bored you could say).
team photos didn’t need me it seemed,
other players more esteemed,
inscribed cups held, coaches beamed.
my role finally found: sports-has-been,
orange quarters sliced, kitchen knife keen,
my platter proffered to half-time teams.