Foetal Heart Beat Missing

Did unwanted visitor carry viral curse?

Unborn baby thrashed, parents suspected worst.

Scan stated foetal heart-beat missing;

ceased all sibling hugs, halted kindred kissing.

After ten tenuous days faecal-tinted waters broke,

in the isolated ward deathly silence spoke.

Nurses absent when her crushed head crowned

birth-corpse delivered, heart ran aground.

Mute cry shaped mouth, eyes held empty gaze,

face flattened, body floppy –  faint beauty to praise.

Quick-cooling listless limbs maternally held,

futile prayerful pleading, dumb tears welled.

Petal-peeled skin raw, her silver cord snapped,

tentative paternal embrace, heart handicapped.

dead babies don’t respond, grieving parents can’t speak,

later quickly-kissed her fridge-frozen cheeks.

Nappy changes unneeded now, funeral to prepare,

stoic parents sobbed, pointless any prayer.

Then her sibling spoke hope* – parents dumbfounded,

untaught truth uttered, feeble faith rebounded.

• “The baby will be alive when Jesus comes back. Isn’t that right, Daddy?”

Easter Monday, 1942

Many eyes scanned wartime skies for German

Bombers on Easter Monday, 1942,

Allotment families forgot Sunday sermons

Heard in Pear Tree Baptist packed pews.

Doris was next door, sharing gossip and news,

husband minding Ron, younger son;

teenage Alan, cycled through rural views

Pushing roadster pedals, having fun.

Frank, the father, worked in Loco foundry

In spare spare time sung, played violin,

Then something snapped, boundaries

wrongly crossed  – caused that loner to sin. 

ill in bed, young Ron rested, bone-weary,

Whistling wireless boomed below

Frank depressed, easily teary

paced kitchen floor, to and fro –

then mounted the stairs with resolve,

son’s illness he could no longer endure,

With warped sense of justice, absolved

His evil action, a quick death the only cure.

Frank squeezed Ron’s throat tightly,

Young son thrashed, left this life; 

After dreadful deed was Frank contrite?

What would he say to returning wife?

Note on dead boy’s bedroom door

“Do not enter – call the police” –

Child corpse within, angels angrily roared,

God’s enemy, Satan, plundered all peace.

Later, on a canal bank Frank stood

Shivering, wrongly thought God-forsaken.

It’s never too late to make good

selfish actions rashly taken.

Instead, he tied the slip-knot rope

to flat iron, then tested noose;

Evil spirits erased faint hope

Doubt dismissed any trace of truce.

Did he linger before he leapt?

Did any one witness awful event?

Were late-repentant tears wept?

Did fish eyes follow his final descent?

A policeman’s torch later sighted

Frank’s floating Trilby hat, mortality marker;

After inquest, and joint funeral were expedited,

headlines reported drama so dark.

No scripture hope on shared gravestone,

date deception was deliberate,

I raged at discreet grave, refused to condone,

Records needed to be set straight.

A new headstone got commissioned

My suicidal grandmother’s name included

Once I got my father’s permission

All truth was stated, nothing excluded.